The Lie We Tell Ourselves
The biggest lie we can tell ourself sounds something like self hate:
If there were nothing wrong with me, people wouldn’t treat me this way.
In order to be free from self hate, we must find unconditional love for ourselves.
In other words, self-acceptance.
“How the hell do we do that?” you might ask.
As you learn to sit still and pay attention to your emotions, you will start to see beyond them. You will begin to see through the lies your unconscious thoughts are telling you and you will gain a broader view of what is underneath, the true real you. The more you practice this, the more you will get to know yourself, and learn to like yourself.
Student: Why am I so needy? I realized that I look at neediness as something weak and therefore cannot let neediness come up in myself. I hate it. And when I see it in others, I feel the same judgement and unacceptable feeling. I feel contempt towards myself and others.
Guide: This is how we gain self hate or self contempt. We conclude that the reason we are being rejected is that we have a need, and having a need means we are bad and high maintenance, and if we are bad or high maintenance, we are unlovable, and if we are unlovable, we won’t survive. (read more about needs here)
So from that perspective the bottom line is… don’t have needs.
Most of us never address the original unmet need that leads us to self hate or our own abandonment. If you are curious to dig deep and heal your wounds – Learn trauma release meditation with April Wickstrom or join the EQ GYM master class or individual EQ program this spring.
You can also try the EQ GYM compassion meditation. Sign up by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org This meditation will help you feel compassion towards yourself and with time, release self hate.
his is a guest post. Any opinions expressed are the writer’s own.