What age are you really?
Yes, you get it, we are not talking about the number of years between birth and now. We are talking about the age your behaviour arises from, what age you are stuck in?
“He is 45 but still very childish”. Yes, because he is stuck in his childhood. He looks old but he is not. He is acting out from a part in him that still is a child. The inner child.
Let us explain this inner child work concept for you. If you’ve had any kind of therapy, the chances are high that you have talked about your childhood. Where and how your behaviour patterns and self perspective originate from. This is basically called self awareness. If we want to change some of those repeated patterns that have become self-destructive, you need to talk to and heal that part of you that stills hold an unconscious destructive self-perspective. Huh?
For example, if we were often asked to be quiet as children, we might have created an unconscious behaviour of holding back, shyness and such because we unconsciously believe that is how we will be loved. Or, if we got validation and love when we were making our beds, helping out with our siblings, etc, we might have created a behaviour of “good girl syndrome” which is one of today’s biggest factors for burnout. We all hold the essence of the children we once were, within ourselves. In fact, our inner child symbolizes the core of our emotion, our programming and our vulnerable personal truth.
We also still hold our adolescent selves within – the aspect of us, that represents the importance of our image – how we are perceived and received by others. The part we see in the mirror – “the adult” – is the part of us that is acting mature and sophisticated and who runs the show on the surface. The master version of you is the one who sees all aspects of you and gently guides you in the direction of internal communication such as self-love, self-acceptance, self-support, self-awareness, self-confidence etc.
Most people are not aware that they are acting from their childhood or adolescent needs, urges and trauma most of the time, and most of us are not trained to be a master or even a grown up. As a master you go back in time and talk to the part of you that is stuck. Only then can we heal and start to grow. I know a huge number of people who have been healed by healers and shamans etc., and still have behaviours that hurt other people and themselves indirectly.
I also know people, coaches etc that have been going to therapy for years and years and know a lot of psychology and a lot of information about themselves, but still don’t have any self-love. Self-awareness yes, but still very hard towards themselves. This is called spiritual bypassing. Bypassing is compared with botox or face shading or filter on your phone. It might look better to some, but under the surface is something else. It’s basically an unconscious trick to be loved/a quick fix to be loved.
The EQ GYM program is built around 10 different classes on how to activate our internal emotional muscles: Self-care, Self-awareness, Self-perspective, Self-acceptance, Self-esteem, Self-power, Self-worth, Self-support, Self-love, Self-confidence. So we can be holistic in our wellbeing and all live in inner peace.
Do you need help to understand which EQ muscles are strong and which ones are weak? You might consider to book a private session here to find a development plan for you.
Hope to see you in class!
April & The EQ GYM team
This is a guest post. Any opinions expressed are the writer’s own.