How To Meet Heartbreak (And Train Your Self-Acceptance Muscle)
From the most painful situation often arises the very opportunity we need to move to the next level in our development process. When we realize this and start to work with it rather then against it we become more loving of ourselves.
When we realize that what we are resisting and running from is actually not that dangerous, we will allow ourselves to stay in the discomfort, explore it curiously, only then can our true emotions come forward.
When we understand that we don’t need to fear these discomforts and that the fear is actually grounded in something else – such as, being rejected, turn down, abandoned or dismissed in some form – we will feel more safe, present and calm. When we allow us to feel it is actually not that bad after all. In other words, When we stop avoiding the fear and when we see things clearly, the discomfort dissipates. How we perceive negative emotions is what makes us protect ourselves by attempting to escape them. When we share our thoughts and feelings without judging or casting blame but rather, take ownership for our emotions, we become vulnerable and humble.
Our thoughts have a function, they are there to try and protect us from the world around us (a survival technique that has served us well, historically). They come out in the form of behaviors. Blaming, controlling, judging, denial, working, stress, ignoring, etc., but in today’s world they aren’t serving the same purpose of protecting you, they actually take you down the path of being hurt.
Acknowledging feelings purely for what they are without blaming yourself or others is what is it means to be vulnerable. Something the majority of us don’t know how to be.
When we allow ourselves to sit with our feelings in silence they tend to tame and become less disruptive. But, when we avoid them they consume our thoughts and behaviors and we find ourselves creating more of what we are trying to resist. What you resist persist.
Look into your resistment, stay, and surrender.
This is how:
Try to use 5 minutes per day to connect with what is inside you. Locate any emotional pain or discomfort and sit with it. Use the present and allow yourself to feel everything you’ve been trying to push back.
We know that this is damn hard and sometimes we need someone to sit with us.
This is a guest post. Any opinions expressed are the writer’s own.